How Exdeath Destroyed Christmas with the VOID

Wrote this at Christmas

Story Time Kiddies!!!
Today's story is called "How Exdeath Destroyed Christmas with the Void!!!!

ahem

Every Hero and Villain in Dissidia Ville liked Christmas a lot
But Exdeath in the Rift north of Dissidia Ville did not

Exdeath hated Christmas! Everything about it
Now please don't ask why or I'll throw a fit.
It could be that he was sealed up for to long
Or that he saw Kuja wearing that freakin thong
But I think the most likely reason of all
was that his heart was over 9000 times to small

But whatever the reason
The Thong or the sealing
He stood there on Christmas Eve hating the feeling
Staring from the rift with a evil frown
The Fire Spells lighting up the town
For he knew every Hero down in Dissidia Ville beneath
was busy now hanging up there wreath

" HURF DURF And there hanging there item bags" he said with a sneer
"Tomorrow is Christmas its almost here!"
Then he growled with his armored fingers nervously drumming
"I must find a way to keep Christmas from coming"
For tomorrow he knew
All the Boy warriors and girl warriors too
Would wake up and take a poo
Then open up there armor, and swords, staffs as well
And then the bells, OH the Bells Bells Bells
The one thing he hated the Bells BELLS BELLS BELLS (maybe was defeated by a geomancer?)

Then the Warriors Young and Old would get up and fight!
and they'd fight, and fight
And They'd fight fight FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
First they would target Vaan who Garland would knock down
Making the Warriors of Cosmos wear a big frown

and THEN
Shinryu would do something Exdeath knew it was meant to offend
He would start the whole damn cycle all over again!
The Warriors would get up one by one
and only then would they start the worst part of the "fun"

They would start making Tier lists
and they'd list list list LIST LIST
And the more Exdeath thought of the eventual Tier List
The more he thought "I must get rid of this Sh*t"
"Why for thousands of years I've put up with this now"
"I MUST stop Christmas from coming...but how?"

Then he got an idea
An evil Idea
Exdeaht got an wonderful, evil idea
"I know just what to do" he said like the sound of a out of tune lute
And he made a quick Santa Claus Suit
And he chuckled "What a Great Evil Trick"
"With this suit I look just like Saint Nick!"

All I need is a Chocobo...
Exdeath looked around
But since Chocobo's are not in the rift there were none to be found
Did that stop the old tree?
NO! Exdeath merely said
"If I can't find a Chocobo I'll make one instead"
So He called his minion Gilgamesh, then took some red thread
and tied a yellow feather to the top of his head!

Then
he loaded a Portal to the void
and a Flower he named Lloyd
On a ramshackle Sleigh
And tied up Gilgamesh

Then Exdeath said "MOVE FASTER GILGAMESH"
and the sleigh went down
Towards the homes of the Fighters
Where they turned off there lighters


All there windows were dark. Quiet Snow filled the air
And Firion was dreaming his dream without a care
When he came to the first house of the square
"This is stop number I" The old tree hissed.
And he climbed to the roof pimp cane in his fist

Then he teleported down the Chimney not hard at all
If only Santa knew of this clever trick he wouldn't have to make the fall
He would have got stuck if it wasn't for this
Then he stuck is head out of the Fireplace mist
Where the little item bags laid up in a row
"These Bags" He said "are the first things to go"

Then he teleported around with a smile most unpleasant
Around the room and looked at every present
Swords, Staffs, Turtles, Pears
Spears, Ex cores, and pairs of underwear!
And with one swift motion they all were gone
into the void is where they belong

Then he slunk into the Wardrobe and took are the swords
He took the Raiper, and even Excalibur
He sent them all to the void as quick as can be
Why he even got rid of the last Remedy

Then he shut the void with glee
Now I just need to take care of this Tree

Exdeath took the tree very carefully
not wanting to hurt one of this colony
opened up the void but he heard a sound
one of the Heroes began to get up with a frown
Little Tidus whose maturity was not above 2

Exdeath has been caught by this young lad
Who'd got out of bed to rant about his dad
He started at Exdeath and said "Santa claus Why?
"*sniff* why are to taking our tree WHY"

But Exdeath being the loser he is
just sucked him up in the void along with the tree
doing that to Tidus filled him with glee!

Then the last thing he took was a Ether to cast fire
then he teleported up the chimney somehow hitting a tire
On the walls left were nothing but a Wire

And the one speck of Potion
that he left in the house
much to small for even a mouse

Then he did the same to the other Dissidians houses

Leaving Items much to small for the other mouses!

It was a Quarter past dawn
Everyone was still in bed
As Exdeath put him cane back in the sled
3000 feet up on the way to the rift
He rode to the tiptop to watch it
"HURF DURF to the Heroes and Villains" he was evil-ly humming
"They're finding out no Christmas is coming!"
"They're wake up and I know what there do"
"They will go up to eachother and say "F*ck you!""

"That's a sound" Grinned Exdeath
"I must simply hear!"
So he paused and put a hand up to his non existant ear
and he heard a sound over the snow
It started low but it started to grow

But the sound wasn't mad
It was merry
It couldn't be so
but it was merry very!

Every Dissidian young or small
Was making tier lists. Without Fighting and all
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming
IT CAME
Somehow or another it came just the same

Exdeath sighing said "Forget this"
as he lifted up his fist
and the whole town got sucked into the void
even his thing named Lloyd

And Exdeath laughed and went on his merry way
Gilgamesh just stood there confused as he may

THE END

I still remember this. It was the Christmas I always have wanted...to send everything to THE VOID with ExDeath. Why can't this happen in reality? D:

Lol nice, when did you write this?

At christmas

Officially one of the best thing's i've ever seen.

I also wrote a song to go with it


Your a Tree, Exdeath
You really need to die!
Your as pointy as a splinter
In a little Girl's Tie
Exdeath!

The only thing you care about is
Getting the fruit in!!!

Your a jerk face, Exdeath
Your nothing but a wimp
All you do is laugh and talk
only your a pimp
Exdeath

I wouldn't touch you with a
39 and a half foot sword

Your an odd one, Exdeath
You've been thinking about the Void to long!!!
You have all the disturbance
of Kuja's Freakin Thong
Exdeath!

Given the choice between the two of you
I'd choose....Kuja's Freakin Thong!!!

*insert music break here*

I think Your stupid Exdeath
I guess trees don't have a brain!
"Nothingness is powerless before the Void"
but aren't they one and the same?
Exdeath

The Three words that best describe you, are as follows, and I quote
Void, Void, TURTLE!!!

Ah, I remember this XD

LOL that song! XD

I loved it, great work, made me laugh so much.

Thanks everyone.

You deserve a medal. Seriously.

As a smaller prize.... *sends a cookie*

If someone could draw I would make a video of it next Christmas